in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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