he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
