she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the condom got lost in my hair
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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