hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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