woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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