He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
