I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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