I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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