I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
