So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
