I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
