In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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