i jhust puked up my retainher.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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