i just had sex bonerless
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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