I wish I could teleport
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How naked do you want me to be?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
