you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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