you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
PANTIES FOUND
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
