on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
