she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
