I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
