I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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