it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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