I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
