if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
