I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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