That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
