Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
