Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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