my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
