there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
