Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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