If i come over, it means nothing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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