In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
