So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
