i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
