I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
