I wish I could teleport
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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