Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
