id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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