Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize