On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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