My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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