sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
