WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
