I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come see our sink grown plant.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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