this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
