If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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