So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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