I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
