Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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