I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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