She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
