Your face is a jimmy john
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
