playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
