I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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