i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
