Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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