It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
