Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
3pm strippers are depressing
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
