Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
