oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
