Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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