i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
