Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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